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I Shit My Pants At The Gym


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#1 scuncknuts

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Posted 17 May 2017 - 02:07 PM

I had an iced coffee a chicken fajitas and peppers rice and beans and chicarones con salsa, a mexican cofffee and half of a pre workout. I shit a big shit that I thought was a fart I went strait to the bathroom and cleaned my ass. A lot of shit was coming down my ass crack and leg. Some guy was cleaning the floor when I came out. What should I do go back or just wait untill someone else is working?


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#2 BeauB

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Posted 17 May 2017 - 03:08 PM

I would not wash your shorts.

 

Just wear them.

 

It just screams "alpha".


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#3 AllNatural

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Posted 17 May 2017 - 11:22 PM

Shit happens. I tried some crappy VPX pre-workout that was on clearance at a local store last year. In the middle of captain's chair leg raises, it came back up. Unwilling to admit defeat, I attempted to sequester the unholy concoction in my mouth but it was to no avail. It erupted out of my nose, dripping all over my shirt and onto the floor. I stealthily grabbed some paper towels and cleaned everything up before anyone noticed.


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#4 RoadBlocK

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Posted 18 May 2017 - 05:45 PM

over the years Ive seen dozens of guys throw up at the gym, leg day, drunk from last night, too much food before workout, etc, but I have never seen anybody shit their pants, I dont know how to feel, I am ambivalent, I can neither make fun of you or sympathize with your situation,


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#5 Wesleyinman

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Posted 18 May 2017 - 06:07 PM

Priceless!  How are there not more comments.

 

I never saw this before but I saw many people fall off treadmills and get hurt when I worked there.

Also when I was working at Ballys when I was just a kid..(21?).I went back to check the Sauna and there was a middle aged woman just sititng in there 100% naked sipping a Margarita.  Just staring at me, and she invited me in.  She had to pack that gear and bring it in intentionally.  This was during hours too like 7pm.  Of course we had to kick her out, but if only 3 hours later, I'd have a story to tell ;)


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#6 Looseunitwa

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 01:32 AM

Get yourself a gym nappy.........I use them all the time
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#7 anab0lix

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Posted 20 May 2017 - 08:08 PM

holy shit i couldnt stop laughing from the first post

 

the worst is when you shart in your sleep and have to take a  brief shower in the middle of the morning.



#8 sinewave3

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 12:51 PM

Pretty sure most people have had a hardcore shart one time or another. I had one a while ago, had these cool wicking boxer briefs and skidded them right up! There is a reason white undies are not in style anymore...
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#9 ironranger

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 02:06 PM

I've had one occasion where a fart turned to mud. Luckily know one was around.
I always wear Master Blaster boxers if I'm drinking certain pre workouts... safety first
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#10 BeauB

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 02:29 PM

Pretty sure it was the iced coffee.


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#11 anab0lix

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 03:17 PM

hahahaha fucken true I try not to get light colored briefs for that reason. Also there's some minimal protection so you have enough time to get out of dodge. It never happened in the gym but I was close to puking many times.  And when I puke,think Team America, it's like a volcano erupting



#12 BeauB

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Posted 13 June 2017 - 10:22 AM

Tell them Gerard Finneran was your uncle.



#13 NattyLite

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Posted 26 June 2017 - 06:23 PM

I would not wash your shorts.

 

Just wear them.

 

It just screams "alpha".

this.



#14 BeauB

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Posted 18 August 2017 - 03:26 PM

Update?



#15 scuncknuts

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Posted 18 August 2017 - 05:53 PM

None I just fucking shit my pants and they probably know it the girl that works there hates me since i shit on the floor and tried to fuck all her friends. All I do is walk around swiping tinder

#16 BeauB

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Posted 18 August 2017 - 08:26 PM

It sounds like it all turned out pretty well, all things considered.

 

I would like to suggest another attempt at the old "hey ladies, hold on a minute, I am about to shit my pants" routine.  And, for the love of all that is good in the world, make sure you wear the same (unwashed) gym shorts.

 

I am pretty sure it will work out at least as well as last time.  Many women crave a guy who is bold enough to snap a growler in public.

 

Just ask Gerard B. Finneran.

 

But this time, drink a lot more coffee first, then report back.  Women love a guy who has a fresh brewed smell. 


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#17 scuncknuts

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Posted 20 August 2017 - 10:54 AM

Will do thanks

#18 ironranger

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Posted 20 August 2017 - 03:04 PM

Great advice here from Beau....




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