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Inside The Mind Of Pzt

losing my mind horny as fuck obsesed crazy unfocused depressed all over the place poor broke

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#1 PZT

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Posted 04 December 2014 - 11:16 AM

Figured since I am ending my Decadrol Max log for Iron mag Labs I figured I would kick up a new one here in the transformation section but a little different than my normal template. I going to do this more of in the style of a old school journal that you would do as a kid. Just randomly post my thoughts and things that I am currently doing through the day. I will still post my workouts, diet and supplementation but more of as I feel fit, rather than doing a daily post of it. I have a lot on my mind lately and things have been kind of rough for me in every aspect of my life, so I figure this will help seeing it in black & white and also getting feed back from you guys that have experience with issues I am having. This goes for relationships, lifting, drug use, sex0rz, career, etc. Got a lot to talk about that I don't feel comfortable talking about with any of my family or friends off the internet.

 

First post to follow.


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#2 milkhouse

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Posted 04 December 2014 - 11:31 AM

I thought journals were for girls
I love you man!

#3 milkhouse

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Posted 04 December 2014 - 11:32 AM

Kidding. So how and or why have things been rough mang.
I love you man!

#4 PZT

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Posted 04 December 2014 - 11:36 AM

12/4/2014 1019

 

Well got a decent nights rest, about 6 hours. I do better with 7 but I do fine like this. I tend to take a lot of 20-40 minute naps at lunch anyway. I usually get up go straight to the bathroom for my morning glory, go through social media sites like its a newspaper, shower, shave and then move on to the kitchen for breakfast. My breakfast this morning was 20g hydro whey from Optimum Nutrition, 5 large egg whites & 160 g dry quick oats that I just blend together. My morning supps are just Purus Labs Organ Shield (which I pretty much take religiously), a multivitamin, 1 g vitamin C & I have been taking Iron Mag Labs Decadrol Max but this was the last morning. I do all this naked btw. I will then get dressed, brush my teeth and do my hair. Sometimes I straighten up my place a bit before I head to work. I have a desk job so work is not that hard for me.


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#5 PZT

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Posted 04 December 2014 - 11:45 AM

@milkybrah: I think it is mainly money. For a long time I was doing well financially but the last year and a half has been rough when it comes to money. Don't get me wrong I still don't live like a bum but Im pretty much pay check to pay check at this point. Pretty much have not had a raise in over two years. And since that time I had to purchase a new truck. My old one at the time was just needing too much work due to it being an older model. My payment are not that bad but my insurance is very high. One thing that I could do is use less gawd damn data on my phone to save money but I have had a hard time doing that lately. My relationship is a weird one as well. GF is actually in the middle of a custody battle with her child's father right now and the lawyers are stretching it out more than it should be. I want to horribly injure this guy too but I wouldn't do well in jail. I am also stressing too much over my physique. I have been doing well in the gym but man nothing beats feeling so comfortable with your body that you have no problem getting naked in front of everyone and anyone. I do not feel that way right now. Basically acting like a true beta these past few weeks. Pretty sure my hormones are fuuuuuucked right now.


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#6 PZT

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Posted 04 December 2014 - 11:49 AM

A look at meal #2 for today

C030717B-A79A-4A4A-B783-EA68B78B12A3.jpg

Just 5 oz. unseasoned chicken tenderloin with a 100 cal wholey guacamole pack. Taste great.

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#7 spinyvegeta

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Posted 04 December 2014 - 12:22 PM

Looks good!
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#8 bradray

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Posted 04 December 2014 - 12:25 PM

Will be following. I am currently not taking anything after a 40 week cycle, just to get my head and hormones straightened out. Fractured my right shoulder 4 weeks ago, so no lifting, been eating like a hog since then, but am starting to get back to normal. I am calling it a month of rest and recovery and am not doing any cardio or legs either. Life is wonderful isn't it



#9 PZT

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Posted 04 December 2014 - 12:26 PM

Looks good!


Just ate this one for my third meal

CA9055B3-65FA-453B-936C-AEC6FB8159FD.jpg

5 oz. of unseasoned ground sirloin instead

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#10 PZT

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Posted 04 December 2014 - 12:28 PM

Will be following. I am currently not taking anything after a 40 week cycle, just to get my head and hormones straightened out. Fractured my right shoulder 4 weeks ago, so no lifting, been eating like a hog since then, but am starting to get back to normal. I am calling it a month of rest and recovery and am not doing any cardio or legs either. Life is wonderful isn't it


Glad to have you brother. I don't plan on taking anything else untill I get this gyno under control. I will still be on test but that's just cause I be been on too long to come off with out going to the doctor.

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#11 milkhouse

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Posted 04 December 2014 - 12:31 PM

Pztbrah....I feel you in the money and with the gf being stressed and dealing with custody. That shit can be very hard mentally to cope with. I'm still going thru shit with me ex and it's been 4 years since I got divorced.
All I can say is just keep powering thru and to try not too let it bother you.

Great log idea btw mang! Hang in
I love you man!

#12 PZT

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Posted 04 December 2014 - 12:37 PM

Yeah Im still going to crush the weights, fuck some pussy and try to eat right :)

 

Supposed to get pretty dirty tonight so should have a good sex0rz story to tell tomorrow.


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#13 bradray

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Posted 04 December 2014 - 12:38 PM

I had some gyno flare up on me under left nipple when i ran celtitren and trenazone together, but it went away on it's own after i stopped the trenazone. I am not even on test right now. It is definitely different off than on, but if i find some more after my shoulder heals, i am going back on test in January. Good luck bro with the GF thing, lawyers just wanting more money sucks



#14 PZT

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Posted 04 December 2014 - 12:42 PM

yeah I am confident the gyno wil go back down but right now it sucks. I had really started to enjoy lifting in a tank top and I just don't feel comfortable right now.


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#15 poopypants

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Posted 04 December 2014 - 01:04 PM

Dear diary,

I just farted and it smells like the wings I ate last night.



I'm divorced going on 6 years now n still dealing with custody issues brah... mostly my fault for not getting things set right up front, now having to re-hash everything n lawyers are stretching this out way longer than necessary as well. Sometimes I feel like it's me, against my ex, against the lawyers... like I'm not paying you to sit there and laugh and chit chat at court where your charge me the most per hour... get crap done, lay the smack down on my crack head ex and her lawyer and get a closer date from the judge than 8 months from now!

Truly is a crap situation. If you are to get married or even have a kid, make sure your sure... then no matter how crappy things get, try your hardest to avoid a divorce n stick together...


As for the gyno... I'm in that boat big-time as well... even off cycle I usually have to maintain a constant AI dose to not aggravate it further. At this point in time I'm just on for the long haul n will look into increased sperm production WHILE ON for the next kid or two... but if your just cruising on test, lemme suggest you get your dht levels up. If you have a powder source get some topical dht going on your chest only, even epiandro works well enough, and a low dose topical AI. This combo has done more for me in reduction than any AI SERM combo in the past.

Been in the living month to month group for quite a while now too... I'd like to look into reducing features, bills, insurances, payments etc as well... but really, I just need to quit spending money whenever I feel like it, buying more than what I need and making sure to just do wiser grocery shopping so I don't feel the need to eat out occasionally and spend 5-10x more on a meal than I would had I prepared it myself... finishing up my car payment in 3 months will be real nice though...

I'll be here to offer what support I can bro.
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Luuurkin...

#16 iceman99uc

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Posted 04 December 2014 - 03:25 PM

I'm in. 

 

I know exactly the shit you're going through man. Lawyers and legal shit are a total way to screw up everything. Even with everything else going right, trying to settle legal issues is painful. And once one other thing goes wrong, forget about it. Too much stress. I've been paycheck to paycheck for 6 months now, almost 7 since my legal shit went down and that's horribly stressful too. I feel for you man. Wish you a quick and speedy resolution to both.


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#17 Scope75

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Posted 04 December 2014 - 03:45 PM

I'm in and right there with you on the whole stressing life deal.
My GF is also in court hashing it out with her ex. I'd like to smash that fucker but that won't do me or her any good.
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#18 PZT

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Posted 04 December 2014 - 03:54 PM

Damn these are the very reasons I don't want to have kids. Almost no relationships work out anymore.

 

Well ate some Flaming Hot Cheetos at lunch and will eat another meal of the chicken and quac shortly.

 

The Cheetos will be the last carbs I have for a at least 5 days. My bro slimyvagina has gotten me back on the low carbs. Which is what I needed to do anyway but man who the fuck honestly wants to do that shit. But it works and makes it were in the future I can eat 500 g carbs and stay lean.

 

Also got my nolva in the mail but don't have a oral syringe on me otherwise I would have already taken my first dose. 


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#19 Scope75

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Posted 04 December 2014 - 04:14 PM

Same here onnthe kids or even getting married.
I'm 29 and don't see me having or wanting a kid and if I hit 35 without one I know I won't want to have one after that.
Just wish relationships went smoother because they add a shitload of unnecessary stress to our lives.

#20 PZT

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Posted 04 December 2014 - 05:20 PM

I WANT A KID BUT DONT WANT TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH ANOTHER PERSONS BULLSHIT.


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#21 seek2bhappy

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Posted 04 December 2014 - 05:24 PM

i read this. left somewhat satisfied somewhat disappoint.


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previously handle: andrewjx

 

Shoot me a PM if you have any questions.

"And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?
Is anything worth more than your soul?" -Matthew 16:26


#22 PZT

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Posted 04 December 2014 - 05:42 PM

^^^ you change your name?
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#23 PZT

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Posted 04 December 2014 - 05:43 PM

Alittle look at my pre-workout stack



Noticing improved endurance from this stack.

Got chest/side Delts/biceps tonight and I need to check my ego. Chest has been deflating due to the heavier weights I have been pushing.

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#24 Scope75

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Posted 04 December 2014 - 06:04 PM

I WANT A KID BUT DONT WANT TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH ANOTHER PERSONS BULLSHIT.


I did to but that was 3yrs ago and since then my whole life, outlook, and personality has changed and not for the good. Lots of stress and BS lead to the change and I'm trying to get my old life back right now.
Have a Drs appointment Tuesday to see about getting shit figured out and back to normal.

#25 poopypants

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Posted 04 December 2014 - 10:43 PM

I WANT A KID BUT DONT WANT TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH ANOTHER PERSONS BULLSHIT.

kids are worth any and every bit of anything I've ever had to go through in relation to getting them and maintaining a relationship with them.

My first marriage was a huge mistake... knocked a girl up after 5 months... married her halfway the pregnancy hoping to give the best to my future kid... supported her for 2 years total only to have her walk out when money got tight and she had her own job...

My 7 year old son is the only good thing ever come from that woman, if you could even her a woman.

I've been with my wife now for 5 years, married for 3. We couldn't be more compatible. It makes all the difference. We still fight. She's still a woman, aka nuts, but that's just what makes us different. She's a better mom to my son than his birth mother. No matter how hard times get, she's right by side. We were together for almost 2 and a half years before getting married and I already knew what kind of mom she was going to be by seeing her interact with my son n we now have a 10 month old girl and plan on having at least 2 more kids...

Again things aren't perfect. But nothing is, it's unrealistic to expect things to be and so I couldn't ask for more.

I guess all I'm saying, don't go getting a girl pregnant or jumping into a relationship/marriage to quick...n if you can see how she is with your kids, her kids or close relatives kids before having your own, you can learn a lot about the person...

Also, in our realm, if she's not willing to allow you to dedicate at least an hour or two a day to working out and prepping meals and understand our "use", than move on. You'll never be happy, become spiteful towards her and will build disdain in the relationship, not to mention the possibility of legal issues she could get you caught up in if she were to choose to do so.
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Luuurkin...





Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: losing my mind, horny as fuck, obsesed, crazy, unfocused, depressed, all over the place, poor, broke

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