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Girlfriend Found Out About The Sauce


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#26 darsh89

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Posted 05 February 2015 - 10:32 AM

The question that hasnt been asked is why was she snooping in the first place?  That indicates an underlying issue of some distrust.  Even if you get her on board you need to deal with the snooping thing for a healthy relationship.  After 4 years if she doesnt trust you (assuming you havent recently done something to warrant suspicion) she probably never will. 


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#27 TripleOvertime

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Posted 05 February 2015 - 10:33 AM

Is definately put her on blast about why she was going through your personal belongings. What was she trying to find or accomplish or find by doing so? She got something to hide? Put her in the hot seàt and ask what she was trying to achieve.
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#28 milkhouse

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Posted 05 February 2015 - 03:19 PM

What if one of 3 is a yes lol


Which one is yes?
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#29 NoPainNoGain42

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Posted 05 February 2015 - 05:13 PM

Well I think I'm in the clear basically said this is what I'm doing and she should accept it (that's the short version). We live together was the only one on that list that's a yes. Just gotta keep being "nice" And just play dumb.
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#30 ezjax

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Posted 05 February 2015 - 05:27 PM

i see the cops at your house in the near future.. women are vindictive... if you fly off the handle once she will blame the juice..

 

 

she is playing back all your fights in her head right now blaming the juice for them...  also why are you not addressing the fact that she was looking through your stuff??

 

she caught you with something you don't feel should be illegal.. you committed no moral injustice.. 

 

she on the other hand invaded your privacy and will have no problem doing it again..  if you make an issue of it she will just do it behind your back...

 

you are setting yourself up for a let down... and maybe jail time..


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#31 NoPainNoGain42

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Posted 05 February 2015 - 06:07 PM

Ehh I'm not really worried about being told on, she's not a rat. The snooping is because of past events that would be a war in itself, I tend to not really care about that fact. I am a very calm individual and try not to start fights I simply try to solve the problem.

Ps #5 this weekend says that I'm out of the dog house
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#32 darsh89

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Posted 05 February 2015 - 06:22 PM

Ehh I'm not really worried about being told on, she's not a rat. The snooping is because of past events that would be a war in itself, I tend to not really care about that fact. I am a very calm individual and try not to start fights I simply try to solve the problem.

Ps #5 this weekend says that I'm out of the dog house

To you this may be called trying to solve the problem.  Unfortunately, the "problem" never gets solved by avoiding the underlying issue. 


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#33 Looseunitwa

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Posted 05 February 2015 - 06:22 PM

Good luck champ. Hopefully your calmness and problem solving skills avail.

If not #5 is at an end lol no pun intended!

#34 Yellowsnow

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Posted 05 February 2015 - 06:22 PM

I say honesty is the best answer, also spend some time letting her processing it.  If she is anything like my wife she disreguards any information that comes from me.  If anyone else says the exact same thing as me, she is like "that make a lot of sense".  When it comes from my lips it makes no sence.  Get used to a relationship with estrogen.  You can't win an aurgument when the other person refuses to use logic.

 

You can try to rationalize it, comparing it to breast augmentaion; if she is a typical female, the logic of this arguement will only enrage her.

 

I would basically go through the reasons as logically as possible pros and con and then back them up with real data not "bro science".  She either will accept you for making this decision or not.  Be prepared for this to possibly be a deal breaker since you weren't up front you have been lying to her the whole time, what else have you been lying about ( it can be a very slippery slope)

 

Good luck



#35 BeauB

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Posted 05 February 2015 - 06:33 PM

It is pretty difficult to go back full of righteous indignation and point the finger at her for snooping, but it can be done.  Here is an illustration of how this might play out:

 

You        “Hey, you went through my stuff.  That is wrong.  I feel slightly angered by your failure to observe appropriate boundaries.  What, don’t you trust me?  I wish I would have used those rat traps like that smart guy on the forum said.”

 

Her         “Well, I’ve sensed you have not been honest with me, and were keeping something from me.  As your soul mate, that hurt me deeply.  And it turns out I was right; you’ve been lying to me – keeping your secret life of anabolic steroids from me.  I felt like I had to look, it was an insatiable quest for the truth - I had to figure out what was so important that you would withhold the truth from me.  And the worst part is – I was right.  Liar, liar, pants on fire!  Now I feel slightly angered by your failure to be honest with me.  What, don’t you love me?”

 

You        “You sort of got me by the nads, huh?  So, yes I’ve lied.  And I feel awful about it [Editor’s note – another obvious lie].  But I’ve read how bad it is for a man my age to have low testosterone – a guy can die from that!  I was so concerned, that I might have low testosterone that I felt I needed to do whatever I could to maintain my health and vigor.  But now you have discovered my secret and I feel slightly angered by your failure to observe appropriate boundaries.  What, do you really want me to die from low testosterone?  I thought you were different, I thought you loved me unconditionally?”

 

Her         “I’ve been insecure and somewhat selfish.   I feel slightly angered by my failure to observe appropriate boundaries.  How can I ever make it up to you?”

 

You        “I just don’t know, my whole world has been turned upside down.  I suppose … well there might be one thing ... oh, never mind”

 

Her         “What, what, there has to be something I can do.  Release me from these chains of self-imposed loathing and guilt.”

 

You        “Maybe A2M.  You know, I pound your butt, fill you up with man-mustard, then pull out and you knob me.  That might make me feel better, but I can't be sure until we've tried, OK?  No promises.  I feel vulnerable."

 

Her         “Your wish is my demand.  I feel bad and slightly ashamed by my failure to observe appropriate boundaries.  And you don’t have to kiss me after I knob the brown turtle.”

 

It won’t be easy, but you can triumph over this.


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#36 Looseunitwa

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Posted 05 February 2015 - 06:47 PM

It is pretty difficult to go back full of righteous indignation and point the finger at her for snooping, but it can be done.  Here is an illustration of how this might play out:
 
You        “Hey, you went through my stuff.  That is wrong.  I feel slightly angered by your failure to observe appropriate boundaries.  What, don’t you trust me?  I wish I would have used those rat traps like that smart guy on the forum said.”
 
Her         “Well, I’ve sensed you have not been honest with me, and were keeping something from me.  As your soul mate, that hurt me deeply.  And it turns out I was right; you’ve been lying to me – keeping your secret life of anabolic steroids from me.  I felt like I had to look, it was an insatiable quest for the truth - I had to figure out what was so important that you would withhold the truth from me.  And the worst part is – I was right.  Liar, liar, pants on fire!  Now I feel slightly angered by your failure to be honest with me.  What, don’t you love me?”
 
You        “You sort of got me by the nads, huh?  So, yes I’ve lied.  And I feel awful about it [Editor’s note – another obvious lie].  But I’ve read how bad it is for a man my age to have low testosterone – a guy can die from that!  I was so concerned, that I might have low testosterone that I felt I needed to do whatever I could to maintain my health and vigor.  But now you have discovered my secret and I feel slightly angered by your failure to observe appropriate boundaries.  What, do you really want me to die from low testosterone?  I thought you were different, I thought you loved me unconditionally?”
 
Her         “I’ve been insecure and somewhat selfish.   I feel slightly angered by my failure to observe appropriate boundaries.  How can I ever make it up to you?”
 
You        “I just don’t know, my whole world has been turned upside down.  I suppose … well there might be one thing ... oh, never mind”
 
Her         “What, what, there has to be something I can do.  Release me from these chains of self-imposed loathing and guilt.”
 
You        “Maybe A2M.  You know, I pound your butt, fill you up with man-mustard, then pull out and you knob me.  That might make me feel better, but I can't be sure until we've tried, OK?  No promises.  I feel vulnerable."
 
Her         “You wish is my demand.  I feel bad and slightly ashamed by my failure to observe appropriate boundaries.  And you don’t have to kiss me after I knob the brown turtle.”
 
It won’t be easy, but you can triumph over this.


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#37 NoPainNoGain42

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Posted 05 February 2015 - 06:56 PM

lol that had me cracking up at work job well done man.

maybe this will be my how "I got out of the this shit hole I dug" log. Progress photos to come lol

I'm assuming she's still processing it and it will come up but for now the sea has calmed.
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#38 tx98z28

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Posted 05 February 2015 - 07:26 PM

If thing's fire up again, go to a therapy session with her (preferably a male therapist). Let her have the first word, to see why she was going through your stuff. Play the victim and act depressed about it. Women are very emotional, that's why I suggest the therapy approach.         



#39 ezjax

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Posted 05 February 2015 - 07:29 PM

i would not be trying to salvage this at this point


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#40 Majora23

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Posted 06 February 2015 - 12:33 AM

Have you tried simply...Not having a girlfriend for awhile? I found this to be the perfect way to get done and do all the things in life I always wanted too.
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#41 NoPainNoGain42

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Posted 06 February 2015 - 01:31 AM

It's debatable if that's where I'll end up regardless I'm doing what I want. She's either in for the ride or not. I think I made that clear with the end of the conversation which is why I think the issue was dropped. Only time will tell though.
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#42 Looseunitwa

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Posted 06 February 2015 - 04:32 AM

Just remember champ this one line from guru BeauB

You “I just don’t know, my whole world has been turned upside down. I suppose … well there might be one thing ... oh, never mind”


This I have put to memory for my future battles with my Mrs on anything. Absolutely perfect lol
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#43 TheMyth89

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Posted 06 February 2015 - 09:36 AM

Going to have to have the talk, explain everything and show her pretty much anything and everything.  Explain to her how the media portrays steroid use and then show her real life such as yourself that you are not some insane angry person etc.


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#44 Yellowsnow

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Posted 06 February 2015 - 11:22 AM

It's debatable if that's where I'll end up regardless I'm doing what I want. She's either in for the ride or not. I think I made that clear with the end of the conversation which is why I think the issue was dropped. Only time will tell though.

She may have dropped it for now but women are like elephants, it will come up again unless you get it out on the table and that still is no guarentee.


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#45 BeauB

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Posted 06 February 2015 - 05:17 PM

She may have dropped it for now but if I know women (and I think I do) she will only forget about it if you are hung like and elephant, and put your massive man-meat on the table.

 

I hadn't thought about it that way.

 

So, a big unit causes a permanent lapse of memory; interesting.

 

Seriously, tell her the truth - really.

 

She is probably a lot more upset about you not being truthful than about the steroids.  It sort of feels like you have taken a bite from a shit sandwich when someone you trust lies (or its near cousin - intentionally withholds the truth).  

 

So be honest.  Then ply her with alcohol and vigorously play rump ranger with her. 

 

I hope all of this works out and you still get the marble peach.


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#46 Yellowsnow

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Posted 06 February 2015 - 06:27 PM

 

I hadn't thought about it that way.

 

So, a big unit causes a permanent lapse of memory; interesting.

 

 

And you thought F***  their brains out was just a phrase


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#47 BeauB

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Posted 06 February 2015 - 06:37 PM

Nicely done.



#48 NoPainNoGain42

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Posted 06 February 2015 - 10:24 PM

Well I think that's why it was dropped is because I was upfront about it, obviously after the blow up. She knows I research the shit out of anything I do, to the point that it's almost ocd.

Everything is in the clear for now, I don't doubt it will come up again but I'll cross that road when it comes time. All very different.... perspectives on this situation lol

Out of curiosity how many men in here married in a relationship have told their significant other or still hide it?
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#49 BeauB

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Posted 06 February 2015 - 11:18 PM

I am very honest with my wife about just abut everything, except maybe stereo equipment.  I just bought another SI HT18 sub-woofer (my 2nd), on top of 2 15" Eminence sub-woofers, four pro audio amps, and a bunch of other non-sense.

 

She knows about everything, except two of the subs and two of the amps.


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#50 TripleOvertime

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Posted 06 February 2015 - 11:34 PM

^its all about that bass, bout that bass, bout that bass?
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