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First Girl Thread


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#1 hewhoisripped

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Posted 08 February 2015 - 01:36 PM

So I decided it's time to ask for some serious and some funny (looking at you B ) answers.

Girl is all over my shit, finally fucked her after a week of foreplay, both of us tried not to because she has a long distance boyfriend as of two months ago. Main concern now is he had nudes.

Girl (cropped for privacy): https://www.dissipat...com/3PIH1blJLVo
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#2 Looseunitwa

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Posted 08 February 2015 - 06:27 PM

File self destructed on the pic?
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#3 BeauB

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Posted 08 February 2015 - 07:23 PM

The other guy has nudes of you?  Well, that can't be good

 

If that is the case, my bet is this won't end well.

 

Lets, just for a moment, ponder the maturity and morality of this girl - just to start:

 

1.  Girl has a boyfriend;

2.  Girl claims to be in a relationship for two months;

3.  Girl tried not to have sex with you;

4.  For some unknown reason (and despite her making tremendous efforts not to have sex with you) she unexpectedly finds herself naked, her nether region receiving a cat bath, and then all of the sudden she is on all fours being cleaned like a shotgun;

5.  Girl either eats your splooge or allows you to spray all over her cervix.

 

Well, starting off on a positive note - at least you aren't the boyfriend.

 

She seems to have less than ideal self restraint.

 

But it is clear she loves her boyfriend.  My speculation is that she misses him so much, she used you as a surrogate and convinced herself she was doing the right thing by allowing you to take the skinboat to tuna town.  

 

I cannot even imagine how honored he will feel hearing this; as she explains all of this was a demonstration of her love for him, even while she is still weeping your semen into her panties (underwear that she will undoubtedly mail to him as an artifact of her never-ending commitment).

 

No, no - this all sounds perfectly normal.  She is clearly a nice girl; one willing to honor her commitments.  In fact, just think how lucky someone will be to marry her.  I would reward her by trusting her with your credit card next weekend. She will try not to bankrupt you, using the same self-control she displayed when trying not to screw you.  And with integrity and devotion like she has, what is there to possibly worry about?

 

As to the slight burning sensation you may be feeling during urination, I can't say - but my guess is that this little picture of morality probably tried not to have sex with a bunch of other guys, too.  Perhaps an illustrative word picture will help.  If you think of dicks as cars, think of her gaping vulva as a freeway.  I hope that is helpful. 

 

It bothers me that her boyfriend has naked pictures of you.  Were the two of you extras in a Gladiator movie?  


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#4 hewhoisripped

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Posted 08 February 2015 - 08:26 PM

This is what I came here for lol.
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#5 hewhoisripped

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Posted 08 February 2015 - 08:27 PM

File self destructed on the pic?


Yeah lol
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#6 Cubsfan815

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Posted 08 February 2015 - 09:54 PM

Palm ela Handerson never gives drama like that. Well unless she catches Rosie over.

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#7 Looseunitwa

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Posted 08 February 2015 - 10:35 PM

It also bothers me that I don't have nude pictures of you both!

#8 poopypants

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Posted 08 February 2015 - 10:54 PM

Erm... no pic... cool.


To be frank. If you are thinking of having anything at all resembling a relationship with this girl, expect nothing but a continuation of what you two perpetrated.

She should have had the decency to break it off with Mr long distance first and you should have kept your penor to yourself until that time...

Chalk it up to a fun time, hope you don't get any "lingering memories" from this encounter n move on if you prefer not having a tainted relationship.
Luuurkin...

#9 BeauB

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Posted 09 February 2015 - 12:10 AM

Did she happen to call you Captain Kirk?


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#10 studog

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Posted 09 February 2015 - 12:23 AM

There's got to be  a newspaper that will hire BeauB as a advice columist . when it comes to affairs of the heart, this man never lets us down.


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#11 hewhoisripped

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Posted 09 February 2015 - 01:10 AM

Did she happen to call you Captain Kirk?


No, she said my dick looks more like Spock
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#12 Looseunitwa

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Posted 09 February 2015 - 04:45 AM

There's got to be  a newspaper that will hire BeauB as a advice columist . when it comes to affairs of the heart, this man never lets us down.


Yep Hustler lol

#13 hewhoisripped

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Posted 09 February 2015 - 05:09 AM

Despite the fucked up ness of the whole thing, she did just gift me like 5lbs of spiced, cooked 99% lean ground turkey. And she worries about whether I want to eat before or after sex. May be real guys.
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#14 BeauB

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Posted 09 February 2015 - 10:10 AM

Despite the fucked up mess of the whole thing, she did just gift me herpes. And she worries about whether I want to eat her before or after sex.

 

First one - not good.

Second one - not sure I would choose either.  If I am correct, it would be like pulling a grilled cheese sandwich apart.



#15 hewhoisripped

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Posted 09 February 2015 - 11:00 AM

First one - not good.
Second one - not sure I would choose either. If I am correct, it would be like pulling grilled cheese sandwich apart.


LOLOLOLO
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#16 BeauB

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Posted 09 February 2015 - 11:57 AM

I strongly recommend AGAINST mowing grass someone else has been watering.


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