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I Need Some Help...


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#1 grove4lifeED

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Posted 10 April 2015 - 10:57 PM

I am gonna cut all the bullshit short... I started prohormones and shit way to early. 18... I did not run cycles correctly. I just wanted that Alpha feeling. I wanted it all. I am anti-social as all hell. So up until 2013 I was doing all of it. Then I had to stop. Parents didn't like etc. Ever since then I have been an out of control drinker. Not every night mind you, but every weekend it is shot after shot etc. I have never been able to hit the gym hard ever again. I tried going back to prohormones and then I would start taking insane amounts. I really do not know where to turn to. I know this is not therapy hour, but I have been ungodly depressed for almost 2yrs. I have seen my body go from an upcoming 20yr old to some person who does not know what a weight is... I apologize for giving people a bad name as it got around that I was juiced. It was awesome and done correctly it is good. I was a fucking idiot... I don't know what to do... I want to get back in the gym for real, but I can't because I have 0 energy to do so.. 



#2 shadowsyl2012

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Posted 10 April 2015 - 11:02 PM

I am gonna say the only thing i feel any of us are qualified to say.

See a doc. Probably not the answer you are looking for but its obvious you have some ocd issues, possible health complications and depression is no ones helper on top of it all.


Or

Tough it out. Start at square one. Eat, live be clean and healthy. Baby step it in the gym.

Hopefully you didnt miss the lesson of your earlier actions.

You have to walk before you run.

Sounds like you have some solid recovery to work for.
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#3 srootone

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Posted 10 April 2015 - 11:32 PM

See a doctor to make sure your hormones are back in balance and fully recovered.

 

See a therapist for someone to talk to.

 

Participate in alcohol abuse groups to work through your substance abuse.

 

Stay away from hormones until you get yourself together and a more educated approach on it. 

 

 

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Or go it solo, do a pct, work on your own addiction, find strength, and start at step one gym wise and all as previously stated. 

 

 

 

 

 

Best of luck to you.

 

 

 

Not sure if your a religious person but I'd like to think we all need god in our lives. All the knowledge and strength you will need is found in his book.


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Don't forget the only person standing in your way is YOU.....

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-epi solo-
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-stano/mecha/epi stack-
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Epi 30/45/60/75/75
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#4 frank thomas

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Posted 11 April 2015 - 08:26 AM

I am gonna cut all the bullshit short... I started prohormones and shit way to early. 18... I did not run cycles correctly. I just wanted that Alpha feeling. I wanted it all. I am anti-social as all hell. So up until 2013 I was doing all of it. Then I had to stop. Parents didn't like etc. Ever since then I have been an out of control drinker. Not every night mind you, but every weekend it is shot after shot etc. I have never been able to hit the gym hard ever again. I tried going back to prohormones and then I would start taking insane amounts. I really do not know where to turn to. I know this is not therapy hour, but I have been ungodly depressed for almost 2yrs. I have seen my body go from an upcoming 20yr old to some person who does not know what a weight is... I apologize for giving people a bad name as it got around that I was juiced. It was awesome and done correctly it is good. I was a fucking idiot... I don't know what to do... I want to get back in the gym for real, but I can't because I have 0 energy to do so.. 

There are things you need in your life and things you really do not. I think you need to clear your head and talk to someone. Get the bullshit that is in you, out. Being introverted and close to the vest with your emotions can cause your head to twirl and it creates behavior in the extremes.

 

Give yourself a break, open up more like you did here (great first step) and don't take everything to heart. Life can be hard and complicated for all of us. You're not alone dude. There are many stories on here from PHF members that are truly fricking inspiring from the shit they have been through and where they are now. WE ALL have peaks and valleys to go through. Hang in there and please talk to some one. Then when your head is straight you can see where you want to go from there.

 

If you do get to the gym, don't worry about how you look or how strong you feel. Just feel it. Don't worry about Juice/ph right now. Take it slow.

 

Good luck and keep us posted.


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"I agree on the patience, it is one quality that is key in anything you desire in life" Happy234

 

 

 

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#5 BrianP0523

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Posted 11 April 2015 - 11:14 AM

i suggest getting to an AA or NA meeting. it sounds like you are an addict/alcoholic. maybe look into some counseling too. once you take care of that stuff, it should pave the way for your return to the gym.


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